Photo: Haley Sheffield
For some, picking a maid of honor is a no brainer and you may even have been planning on it for years. For others, it can be super-stressful and even dramatic. Especially for those with more than one sister, choosing between sisters can be difficult, and even possibly impossible. Here’s some of our best advice on what to do while keeping the peace, being diplomatic, and sharing in the sisterly love.
Maid and Matron
The easiest solution to this predicament would be if you have two sisters, and one is already married. If you luck out with this scenario, simply have a maid of honor and a matron of honor and voilà — problem solved. Traditionally, the shared responsibility takes the extra pressure off of just having one representative, and then you can all share in the excitement and special moments that come along with the role. Problem = solved!
Pick Out of a Hat
Okay, so this may seem a little ridiculous but if you all agree and truly can’t make up your mind, it’s probably the fairest option out there. If you opt to go this route and all your sisters are on board, there can’t really be resentment, blame or jealousy if you rely on this foolproof method to make decisions when you just can’t. (Just make sure to shake it up and close your eyes!)
There’s nothing wrong with planning ahead! A popular move when dealing with more than one sibling and a wedding party is to mutually design a rotation of who will serve as the MOH in one another’s wedding. You can rotate by age, or any other factor you decide — but it can work out that you all get to share in the honor of being a MOH for one another if you plan ahead! (If one sister does not want to, or does not end up getting married, you can still make it up to her in another creative way!)
Talk it Out
Perhaps one sister is pregnant, plans to become pregnant or is going through financial issues and might not be able to afford (either financially or emotionally) being a maid of honor right now. Maybe your younger sister isn’t ready, or even able to step up to the task. Or, maybe one realllyyyy wants to be your MOH and one doesn’t mind taking a back seat. You’ll hear thousands of times as you embark on your marriage journey that communication is key — and that applies here too. Sit down with your sisters and talk it out. If everyone is reasonable and open, you’re likely to end the conversation with a decision that’s fair and honest.